Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
