this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
