Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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