Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
