Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
