im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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