yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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