I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
