I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize