Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
