what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
