she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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