My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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