This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
