If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize