Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
