i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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