Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Farmville is her only friend.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I need a beard to bite.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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