so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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