listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
