We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
