Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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