Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
