WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
