ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
