What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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