with your own penis?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
