Come see our sink grown plant.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
