Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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