omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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