shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
