My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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