YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
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