I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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