If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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