dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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