So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
