I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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