On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
