how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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