I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
