YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
