Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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