i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
