I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
