sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
