My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
