So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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