Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Oh god it's open bar.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
