Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
