Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
