Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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