I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
