Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
