she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
