It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
