for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
