and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
